Adoption Learning Partners

Kel and I just found this site, and it has some neat courses that we hope to take over the coming weeks. Some of you in our family may want to take the free course "Conspicuous Families". It mentions a $30 fee, but that is only if you want a certificate of completion mailed to you. Please let us know if you take this or other courses there!
Adoption Learning Partners

Updates

Martin and I have been trying to set aside time to do research. This is a busy time of the semester, so that is a challenge! This process is exciting but also frustrating. We think we would like to start with a domestic adoption, but there is a long waiting list in many agencies. We will definitely be learning perseverance and patience in the coming months.

 

We recently heard good news from one agency we like. They had indicated in a correspondence that we would need to be on a waiting list before we could even apply for a domestic infant adoption. When I called on Monday to confirm that we would be willing to be on this waiting list, the coordinator informed me that they may take a few families to make their pool of adoptive parents more diverse for potential birth parents to choose from! We will be getting a brief questionnaire to complete and return to them.

 

We are trying to stay open to the idea of doing an international adoption first. We do know we would like to have one child from infancy, but think we will probably do both eventually (it is difficult to get infants in an international situation). So we are looking for an agency that we can work with for either situation.

 

I started to experience doubt the other night, and asked God to confirm whether we were doing the right thing. I got an image in my mind of a round faced, darker skinned baby girl with dark curly hair. I'll hang on to that as my symbol of hope!

Kelley Eltzroth

E-Mail about our adoption plans

Hey everyone!

What a big list! I wanted to update you on some exciting and scary steps Martin and I are beginning!

Most of you know that Martin and I knew before we married that we would be adopting if we were to have kids. Martin is always gracious by saying "we can't have kids" or simply "we may adopt" when we get those questions like "when are you to going to start having babies?". What a tremendous gift to me! But in case you didn't know and are curious, I had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 21 due to cancer. I also had an ovary removed, and the other ovary was damaged from the chemo and radiation (it was actually removed this summer as well).

I became a Christian a few years after the cancer treatments, and almost immediately God began to show me in scripture the miraculous things He does for the barren woman. I first came across 1 Samuel 1 and claimed Hannah's prayer over the years. I also cling to the promises in Psalm 113 and Isaiah 54:1-5 -- for the church, for me, and now for Martin. I have often wondered if it would be "spiritual" motherhood -- which God has done for me and has been extremely gratifying! I have many "kids" in the faith -- some of who are now adults and creating more "kids", so I suppose that makes us grandparents at this point (maybe even great grandparents)! But did He have additional plans in store? I didn't know through all my years of singlehood, and still wasn't sure even after getting married.

We have been putting off serious discussion of adoption. When we got married, we had set a goal to start talking LAST fall, but put it off as we settled into a first home, a busy career, and dealt with some other family circumstances. This summer a loving friend began to encourage me through questions and prayer to be more intentional than just talking about starting adoption. I told her "after vacation" we would start serious talks. But she has had to continue to pray because I have continued to wrestle with my own selfishness and fears, and avoided the discussion with Martin.

In that initial summer conversation she had mentioned an organization called "Family Life" -- the organization that puts on "A Weekend to Remember" marriage conferences. She knew from other friends that this organization also does adoption conferences.

Well, I forgot about that, then last Wednesday "accidentally" came across a reference to that website while reading an internet adoption article I was reading to possibly send to another friend who just adopted. I opened the website, realized it was the one she had told me about, and then got the eerie feeling when everything comes together -- the only 1 of the 3 conferences scheduled for the fall that was in Michigan was scheduled for that coming weekend in Grand Rapids! The other 2 are in Texas later this fall. As I looked at the topics, I knew that this was what we had been looking for. Just the weekend before that, on a long drive home while we were in the dark and tired, we had begun to talk about whether we really wanted to do adoption -- even so far as to discuss how many, etc. But we didn't know where to start. And we knew we didn't want to adopt because we were "supposed" to according to society and family, but because God was calling us to do that. But this conference begins with a biblical foundation about God's heart for orphans. Here is the website for the curious:

http://www.familylife.com/hopefororphans/adoption_workshops.asp?DCMP=BAC-IYWM+Sept05+RT&ATT=ImageRT

Well, we left with more questions. It is an incredible workshop. We had to both come to the conclusion that God was calling us to adopt (we are ALL called to care for the orphans, widows, and aliens -- but not all are called to care for orphans through adoption. Are you?). One of us had a quick yes to that question, but waited for the other to come to the same conclusion after a quiet dinner and for the 1st half of the car ride home. Then the other questions started bouncing around in our heads:

Domestic? International? Both?

If international, what country? What agency?

If domestic -- foster, infant, private?

We have almost completely concluded that we will be a multiracial family (I think we will only by 100% sure when it happens!). We are drawn to the countries of China (the discrimination against baby girls breaks my heart) and Ethiopia (you know Martin has a great love for Africa) at this point, but that of course is not definite. We are also broken hearted to hear that there are in fact MANY infants available in the U.S. (for how long have you heard that american families adopt internationally because Americans either choose to keep the baby or do abortion, so domestic adoption is difficult?), but any that are ethnic minorities or bi-racial are hard to place. So much so is the need for families to adopt transracially and/or for African Americans to adopt, that the U.S. allows Canadian families to adopt American minority infants!

We are reading together a great resource called "Inside Transracial Adoption" to prepare ourselves for both the blessings and difficulties of a multi-racial/cultural family. We feel that with the legacy of adoption throughout our extended families, and both of us having experienced close friendships with people of other countries, cultures, and colors, that God has been preparing us for these steps.

We are also praying nightly and doing a lot of talking and assessing of how the other is doing. We are collecting information from agencies and hope to start doing some initial inquiries to narrow down the field very soon. Then we need to apply with an agency, get a home study, etc., so it will be awhile. Please pray for us for the road ahead, for wisdom and direction, for prepared and open hearts, for finances, for our health...

Thank you for rejoicing and praying with us!

Kelley and Martin

Recent Picture

Here's a recent picture of Kelley and I!
Martin 

First post!

Well, we Kel and I were talking the other day about how we could communicate with all of our family and friends about our adoption process and decided this might be a good way to do it! More will be posted soon!
Martin