The leaves are falling, we are close to a frost, gray days are outnumbering sunny days.
Danny has been gone for six weeks now. That is 42 days. In some ways, it seems like that number is small - it has only been 42 days? Just 1.5 months? Perhaps because we have all gone through so much emotional upheaval, it seems like it has been much longer.
In other ways, that number seems so big. 42 days already? Because sometimes the memories of our last moments with him are still very sharp.
Strange things bring back keen emotions. Last night, Martin and I went to go see the new film "Dan in Real Life" (Two Thumbs Up, by the way!). On our drive to Mount Pleasant, I was thinking about Danny and could feel tears welling up. It was dark, Martin and I were both watching the road, and he did not know what I was thinking. But he suddenly started talking about a memory of Danny. Perhaps it was because we were going to a movie about a man named Dan, perhaps because it had been an emotional day already (I had been thinking about who I could call to talk about my day when I began to think about him). At any rate, he was on our minds as we went into the movie.
Early in the movie, Dan and his 3 girls arrive at his parent's vacation home. His Dad comes out to greet him, excited that they have arrived. He hugs them all, laughing and smiling. Suddenly I was crying, thinking about how excited Danny always was when I got home. I remember one time years ago arriving home, and Danny was so excited to see me that he was cracking up and squeezing me so hard I could hardly breathe. I remember how astonished I felt that I meant so much to him (I tend to assume that other people mean more to me than I do to them). In just a few more weeks, we will be going to Washington for Christmas, and I won't have that greeting and it is going to hurt...
A wise person in our lives has pointed out to Martin and I that we quickly faced crises early in our marriage (deaths, health issues, extended family issues), and didn't have the length of time many other couples have to finish building our foundation - defining our roles, setting our goals, etc. In fact, a few years ago we pulled back from volunteer leadership positions at our church to do just that - build into the foundation of our marriage. But I was in the midst of health problems, and within a few months of that decision had my cancer diagnosis, so that became the looming thing in our lives instead. So it is like we don't know how to live together anymore without being in a crisis mode, and now that life is getting "routine", we are relearning pet peeves, priorities, and habits.
Because of the # of bad news phone calls, we have realized we have stopped our long-range planning even, making it difficult to think about sitting down and filling out a large pile of forms for adoption. She wondered if we should allow ourselves the time to dream again, do more vision casting for our family life, get back to the traditions and rituals we wanted to start, before we voluntarily completely change our lives again. Certainly something to think about!
I pointed out that one way we seem to be growing together is our interest in learning a lifestyle that leaves a smaller "footprint" on the world (in terms of our ecological impact) by our food and lifestyle choices. Martin has decided to experiment with foods from a cookbook we own called "More with Less" (a Mennonite cookbook with recipes that are about eating better and consuming "less of the world's limited food resources") and is actually doing the grocery trip for the week! He seems to be enjoying going through the cupboards to see what we have. I didn't realize how much the grocery shopping and our pantry inventory had become my domain until he pulled out two cans of tomato sauce and asked if it was okay to use them for a recipe :). I actually do love it when Martin cooks - he gets such a charge out of experimenting and creating, and eats his own cooked meals with gusto and enthusiasm!
So, basically we have realized that in a life becoming once again routine, we have forgotten our routines, thus causing us to still live in chaos and crisis mode. So, this weekend I'll be opening up my household computer files and reexamining our meal and chore schedules that we have not been using for months (did I mention we also hired a cleaning service?!), and learn to relish those types of routines while still growing together in intimacy, spirituality, and intellectually!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Cancer, Cowardice, and Courage
After I got back to Michigan, in my mail was a newsletter from a local cancer support group. In the newsletter was a sort of poem contrasting the difference between “Giving Up” and “Letting Go”. I’ve been thinking about that. Shortly before Danny died, I had told my Mom that while I myself use words like “fighting cancer”, and “Cancer Survivor”, I realize that analogy of being in a fight with a disease can become dangerous when someone dies. I don’t want anyone to ever think that Danny, or any of the others we love who died from cancer, was not victorious!
Years ago, a man from my church died while waiting for a heart transplant. People from our church had prayed and prayed, even having vigils, that Jeff would either have a miraculous healing or would get a transplant. Some of these people were devastated at his death, but Jeff’s own words brought them comfort. He told family members that he would be healed no matter what happened, because there is no disease in Heaven. In the presence of his heavenly Father, he would have a new body with no sickness. So he considered it the greatest healing if he were to die and be in the arms of God.
Those of us who are “survivors” often get called “heroes”, and told we are brave and inspiring. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh – it is not as if we chose to have cancer “Gee – I’m feeling brave today, let’s fight colon cancer!”. This morning I came across an on-line “diary” of a man battling cancer as he shared his thoughts on cancer, cowardness and courage. He had heard a line on a TV show that said “Cancer makes cowards of us all”, and he decided that was wrong. His name is Leroy Sievers, and he does a broadcast and an on-line “blog” for National Public Radio. He wrote today:
“To me, a coward is someone who runs away, who fails to act out of fear. No cancer patient is a coward, for one very simple reason. We're not allowed to be. How many of us would love to run away from our disease? From the treatments, the side effects, the pain? At some point, we have all felt that. But it's just not one of the options. We can't run away. So we are left with only one choice. Stand and face it.”
I would add that the same is true for those of you who care for us. I saw in my Mom so much nobility, grace, and courage. I’m sure she would have loved to run away from cancer, but she stayed by Danny’s side literally to his last breath. She always treated his soul and his body with dignity and respect. Now today, we would all love to run from the pain we feel at his loss, to escape the grief and the tears that suddenly come out of nowhere or the images that suddenly flash in front of our eyes. Be we can’t, so we stand and face it, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time, one breath at a time.
Years ago, a man from my church died while waiting for a heart transplant. People from our church had prayed and prayed, even having vigils, that Jeff would either have a miraculous healing or would get a transplant. Some of these people were devastated at his death, but Jeff’s own words brought them comfort. He told family members that he would be healed no matter what happened, because there is no disease in Heaven. In the presence of his heavenly Father, he would have a new body with no sickness. So he considered it the greatest healing if he were to die and be in the arms of God.
Those of us who are “survivors” often get called “heroes”, and told we are brave and inspiring. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh – it is not as if we chose to have cancer “Gee – I’m feeling brave today, let’s fight colon cancer!”. This morning I came across an on-line “diary” of a man battling cancer as he shared his thoughts on cancer, cowardness and courage. He had heard a line on a TV show that said “Cancer makes cowards of us all”, and he decided that was wrong. His name is Leroy Sievers, and he does a broadcast and an on-line “blog” for National Public Radio. He wrote today:
“To me, a coward is someone who runs away, who fails to act out of fear. No cancer patient is a coward, for one very simple reason. We're not allowed to be. How many of us would love to run away from our disease? From the treatments, the side effects, the pain? At some point, we have all felt that. But it's just not one of the options. We can't run away. So we are left with only one choice. Stand and face it.”
I would add that the same is true for those of you who care for us. I saw in my Mom so much nobility, grace, and courage. I’m sure she would have loved to run away from cancer, but she stayed by Danny’s side literally to his last breath. She always treated his soul and his body with dignity and respect. Now today, we would all love to run from the pain we feel at his loss, to escape the grief and the tears that suddenly come out of nowhere or the images that suddenly flash in front of our eyes. Be we can’t, so we stand and face it, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time, one breath at a time.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
The Clay
Martin and I had an amazing time in Washington State. It was a mixed bag - lots of laughter and joy and good memories, but also sad as we watched Danny struggle with health issues. Leaving on Wednesday morning was heartwrenching, my Mom so sad and scared. I hate watching them go through this, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. 
But maybe it is not for me to fix. I've been musing about the process my Uncle Richard uses to make his whistles and ocarinas. He showed us how he gets his molds ready for the fire, working the mouth to make sure the air passes just right. I had no idea that he could play them while still wet, before the fire. Of course, you can't give them to the end users like that, they would be smashed and ruined. It has to go through the firing process first, and glazed to make it shine with beauty, before a young Zelda fan can play magical melodies.
So then I think about my nieces and nephews, and wonder what they will have to go through as their "fire" (or what they have already gone through). What is the end process He has in mind for them, for me, for you?
Amanda, so pretty and quirky and smart. She has already been through so much...I pray for her healing.
Shelby - thoughtful, wise, responsible...I pray she learns about freedom.
Clarissa - the old soul, the cuddler. I pray for her wisdom about who and how to love.
Christopher - perfectionist, a worrier, a goof. I pray he learns about amazing grace.
Jean Paul - the athlete, looking for stability. I pray he learns about Trust on those uncertain roads sure to keep coming.
Spencer - the leader, the creator. I pray he learns sensitivity and the responsibility of leading.
Sarah - Fire cracker. Stand up comic. I pray she learns how to stream kindness and gentleness through her energy.
Katie - here closer to us, but with no more control in her life than we do in the others. We pray for her safety, for opportunities, for resilience.
I want to pray that they will be protected from any pain, disappointment, or grief. But no human life has been free of that, so instead I pray for Him to handle it gently, for His will to be done, as hard as it is for me to Trust that right here, right now. So, I guess more than anything I pray for ME - to regain my trust of Him in my life, that He is GOOD and knows His plans for me, and that they are GOOD. And in that I can trust Him to also take care of the people I love.
But maybe it is not for me to fix. I've been musing about the process my Uncle Richard uses to make his whistles and ocarinas. He showed us how he gets his molds ready for the fire, working the mouth to make sure the air passes just right. I had no idea that he could play them while still wet, before the fire. Of course, you can't give them to the end users like that, they would be smashed and ruined. It has to go through the firing process first, and glazed to make it shine with beauty, before a young Zelda fan can play magical melodies.
So then I think about my nieces and nephews, and wonder what they will have to go through as their "fire" (or what they have already gone through). What is the end process He has in mind for them, for me, for you?
Amanda, so pretty and quirky and smart. She has already been through so much...I pray for her healing.
Shelby - thoughtful, wise, responsible...I pray she learns about freedom.
Clarissa - the old soul, the cuddler. I pray for her wisdom about who and how to love.
Christopher - perfectionist, a worrier, a goof. I pray he learns about amazing grace.
Jean Paul - the athlete, looking for stability. I pray he learns about Trust on those uncertain roads sure to keep coming.
Spencer - the leader, the creator. I pray he learns sensitivity and the responsibility of leading.
Sarah - Fire cracker. Stand up comic. I pray she learns how to stream kindness and gentleness through her energy.
Katie - here closer to us, but with no more control in her life than we do in the others. We pray for her safety, for opportunities, for resilience.
I want to pray that they will be protected from any pain, disappointment, or grief. But no human life has been free of that, so instead I pray for Him to handle it gently, for His will to be done, as hard as it is for me to Trust that right here, right now. So, I guess more than anything I pray for ME - to regain my trust of Him in my life, that He is GOOD and knows His plans for me, and that they are GOOD. And in that I can trust Him to also take care of the people I love.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Busyness
Everyone thinks that teachers and professors have it made because we get our summers "off". That is either wrong, or there is something wrong with me that keeps me from understanding how to vacation.
Martin and I have been busy trying to update the landscaping at our house, rebuilding our rickety deck (it is BEAUTIFUL AND STURDY NOW!), and updating our master suite. You know he was gone for 2 weeks to Asia. I was also gone for about a week to Kentucky to read for the AP Psychology exams. Along with about 360 high school and college psychology teachers, we read over 100,000 students essay questions at an overly air-conditioned convention hall. We had time in the evenings for social functions, some structured/required and most not. I got to see the races at Churchhill Downs, see "The Lion King" (did anyone else cry during the amazing opening scene?), and eat at the unforgettable Paradise Cafe.
Just this week I completed a grad course I took online through the University of New Hampshire. The end product was a new course I'll be proposing to the MMCC Curriculum Committee called "Human Relations". The class was called "Preparing to Teach a Psychology Course", having been teaching now for many years it wasn't a difficult course, but I'm a bit of a workaholic perfectionist so I did put plenty of hours into it. I glowed for hours with my professor's feedback "Another Outstanding Assignment". I've also been teaching a course on-line for Mid, it runs for a few more weeks.
We have had some fun too! After finishing the deck, we had 2 parties in one weekend. One was to celebrate the deck and watch the Clare Summerfest fireworks, the other was for my birthday (though the "boys" mainly used the deck to play Axis and Allies on the new table while the "girls" scrapbooked - how stereotyped is that?). The next weekend, we had guests for the weekend as we said goodbye to Janell and Jason Neuman (tears are springing to my eyes!). Martin has had other game nights with his buddies (I think Martin's love language is strategy gaming). I went to a music festival with Chris. We went camping for 3 nights this last weekend at beautiful Gleason's Landing. We may go to some of the "Mountain Rock Festival" concerts in Farwell. We leave next week to visit my family in Washington State. And of course, the summer blockbuster movies (none have blown me away yet!).
Mainly, I wanted to record for memory what has been happening. I haven't posted a blog for so long that it took me 4 tries to remember my password! For those of you who read this for adoption updates - we did finish the State training required for foster adoption called "PRIDE". Now, we need to find an agency to conduct our family assessment. The agency we want to work with has a long waiting list, and other agencies prefer families who want older children. We understand that older children need homes too - but we also want more than just a few years with kids in our house and I don't imagine we will keep adopting a cycle of kids through over the years!
Hope you are enjoying your summers!
Kelley (and Martin and the fur kids)
Martin and I have been busy trying to update the landscaping at our house, rebuilding our rickety deck (it is BEAUTIFUL AND STURDY NOW!), and updating our master suite. You know he was gone for 2 weeks to Asia. I was also gone for about a week to Kentucky to read for the AP Psychology exams. Along with about 360 high school and college psychology teachers, we read over 100,000 students essay questions at an overly air-conditioned convention hall. We had time in the evenings for social functions, some structured/required and most not. I got to see the races at Churchhill Downs, see "The Lion King" (did anyone else cry during the amazing opening scene?), and eat at the unforgettable Paradise Cafe.
Just this week I completed a grad course I took online through the University of New Hampshire. The end product was a new course I'll be proposing to the MMCC Curriculum Committee called "Human Relations". The class was called "Preparing to Teach a Psychology Course", having been teaching now for many years it wasn't a difficult course, but I'm a bit of a workaholic perfectionist so I did put plenty of hours into it. I glowed for hours with my professor's feedback "Another Outstanding Assignment". I've also been teaching a course on-line for Mid, it runs for a few more weeks.
We have had some fun too! After finishing the deck, we had 2 parties in one weekend. One was to celebrate the deck and watch the Clare Summerfest fireworks, the other was for my birthday (though the "boys" mainly used the deck to play Axis and Allies on the new table while the "girls" scrapbooked - how stereotyped is that?). The next weekend, we had guests for the weekend as we said goodbye to Janell and Jason Neuman (tears are springing to my eyes!). Martin has had other game nights with his buddies (I think Martin's love language is strategy gaming). I went to a music festival with Chris. We went camping for 3 nights this last weekend at beautiful Gleason's Landing. We may go to some of the "Mountain Rock Festival" concerts in Farwell. We leave next week to visit my family in Washington State. And of course, the summer blockbuster movies (none have blown me away yet!).
Mainly, I wanted to record for memory what has been happening. I haven't posted a blog for so long that it took me 4 tries to remember my password! For those of you who read this for adoption updates - we did finish the State training required for foster adoption called "PRIDE". Now, we need to find an agency to conduct our family assessment. The agency we want to work with has a long waiting list, and other agencies prefer families who want older children. We understand that older children need homes too - but we also want more than just a few years with kids in our house and I don't imagine we will keep adopting a cycle of kids through over the years!
Hope you are enjoying your summers!
Kelley (and Martin and the fur kids)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Another update from Martin
Hey!
It's 2:14pm on Saturday, and we're in the city of Phnom Penh in Cambodia. We just arrived here a couple hours ago and checked into our hotel (The New York Hotel, which d/n resemble N.Y. at all.) Yesterday was an amazing day. Angkor is such a neat place, but it is also an amazingly hot place. It was around 95-100F during the day. I took around 350 pictures there, and I hope that some of them are good. The tour company hired a local English speaking guide that talked to us as we toured the temples. We were at the temples from around 7am-11am and again from 3pm until about 6pm. We went to Angkor Wat during our second session, and the sky was filled with storm clouds for most of our visit. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately since it was so hot) it did not rain.
I've learned that I am an amazingly horrible barterer, and that I just need to shop at supermarkets (I get the same prices the locals do).
We have a very friendly and fun group on this trip. There are only 4 other people on the trip besides us. A couple Vietnamese women around my age, a Vietnamese woman who moved to California 25 years ago, along with her sister who is from HCMC. They all speak pretty good English, so we're able to interact and joke around. One thing that's interesting here is the number of relief organizations that are present. There was a free children's clinic in Siem Reap where a long line of people were lined up to be seen. About 1 in 4 of the billboards are a piece of information by a nonprofit relief group. I even saw a Worldvision billboard.
Today we're going to tour around Phnom Penh at 4pm, go to dinner, and then stop by a casino for a short visit. I don't think any of us are too excited about the casino. Tomorrow the rest of the group is going to the market in Phnom Penh, but Kathy and I are going to get in a Tuk Tuk and go to one of the killing fields memorial sites. The round trip ride should only cost around$5. After that I think we're going to head back to HCMC. Hopefully we'll be able to get back in! :-)
-Martin
(Martin called me tonight - which is Monday morning from him. He returned to Ho Chi Minh City and will be there for a few more days.)
It's 2:14pm on Saturday, and we're in the city of Phnom Penh in Cambodia. We just arrived here a couple hours ago and checked into our hotel (The New York Hotel, which d/n resemble N.Y. at all.) Yesterday was an amazing day. Angkor is such a neat place, but it is also an amazingly hot place. It was around 95-100F during the day. I took around 350 pictures there, and I hope that some of them are good. The tour company hired a local English speaking guide that talked to us as we toured the temples. We were at the temples from around 7am-11am and again from 3pm until about 6pm. We went to Angkor Wat during our second session, and the sky was filled with storm clouds for most of our visit. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately since it was so hot) it did not rain.
I've learned that I am an amazingly horrible barterer, and that I just need to shop at supermarkets (I get the same prices the locals do).
We have a very friendly and fun group on this trip. There are only 4 other people on the trip besides us. A couple Vietnamese women around my age, a Vietnamese woman who moved to California 25 years ago, along with her sister who is from HCMC. They all speak pretty good English, so we're able to interact and joke around. One thing that's interesting here is the number of relief organizations that are present. There was a free children's clinic in Siem Reap where a long line of people were lined up to be seen. About 1 in 4 of the billboards are a piece of information by a nonprofit relief group. I even saw a Worldvision billboard.
Today we're going to tour around Phnom Penh at 4pm, go to dinner, and then stop by a casino for a short visit. I don't think any of us are too excited about the casino. Tomorrow the rest of the group is going to the market in Phnom Penh, but Kathy and I are going to get in a Tuk Tuk and go to one of the killing fields memorial sites. The round trip ride should only cost around$5. After that I think we're going to head back to HCMC. Hopefully we'll be able to get back in! :-)
-Martin
(Martin called me tonight - which is Monday morning from him. He returned to Ho Chi Minh City and will be there for a few more days.)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Martin in Cambodia
From Martin:
We've arrived safely in Siem Reap, Cambodia. The trip took around 11 1/2 hours, including about two and a half hours of stops for breakfast and lunch. We covered approximately 500 km. Cambodia is so much different than Vietnam. There aren't nearly as many fruit producing trees, and the traffic is a small fraction of what it was in Vietnam. The country isn't nearly as developed, which is quite understandable due to the US B-52 bombings, Khmer Rouge rule, and subsequent invasion by Vietnam. I have also noticed a lot of humanitarian aid here. There are signs advertising USAID along with other organizations. I also saw what looked to be a food truck distributing food to families. I doubt if I will see much of this in Siem Reap since it is such a tourist town.
I haven't had much interaction with the people yet since we just arrived about an hour ago. Tomorrow we will go to Angkor Wat and visit all of the temples. It looks like such an amazing place.
We spent the previous two days in the Mekong Delta region of Vietnam, where we spent around 3-4 hours by boat touring the region. Riding in a vehicle on the roads is not very fun. I'm sure that auto manufacturers have to find some different ways to pitch their products since the roads are so congested and bumpy. Í fight motion sickness most of the time on the road.
One thing that really surprises me here is the lack of protections for the average citizen. The plumbing and electrical systems in Vietnam have been very scary. Lines from telephone poles can dip within about 5 feet of a sidewalk. We have often seen children sandwiched between two parents on a single motorbike. And they rarely wear helmets! When we toured a couple sweatshops near Ho Chi Minh City we saw so many potentially dangerous situations for workers! I also need to ignore how my food is prepared; even in the better restaurants. Richard mentioned that raw beef was left on the "clean" floor in a restaurant we ate at yesterday for lunch (thankfully I'm not sick yet.) I can't imagine the level of fines that OSHA and the FDA would hand out if these were in the USA.
We only have 5 full days left here in Cambodia and Vietnam. Here's a rough agenda for the remaining days.
Friday, 3-18: Visit Angkor Wat (all day). Night market visit (evening)
Saturday, 3-19: Travel to Penohm Pehn. The tour company has booked a trip to the casino since it is a popular destination with Vietnamese tourists. Since we will not arrive there until evening there will probably not be much else to do.
Sunday, 3-20; Go to the large Pagoda in Penohm Pehn. The rest of the group will go to the main market in town, but Kathy and I are going to take a tuk-tuk to the killing fields memorial. Our tour guide said that it used to be a part of the tour, but that people who went on the tour became too sad. I guess that's why they added the casino then. We then will return to HCMC that evening.
Monday and Tuesday: 3/21-22: I'm not quite sure what will happen these days. I know that Kathy would like to visit a hospital in HCMC. Due to a miscommunication the University had us leaving on the 21st instead of the 23rd. I'm sure we can find something to do.
I'm not sure when I'll have time and access to the internet next, but I'll try to send out another update.
Martin Eltzroth
We've arrived safely in Siem Reap, Cambodia. The trip took around 11 1/2 hours, including about two and a half hours of stops for breakfast and lunch. We covered approximately 500 km. Cambodia is so much different than Vietnam. There aren't nearly as many fruit producing trees, and the traffic is a small fraction of what it was in Vietnam. The country isn't nearly as developed, which is quite understandable due to the US B-52 bombings, Khmer Rouge rule, and subsequent invasion by Vietnam. I have also noticed a lot of humanitarian aid here. There are signs advertising USAID along with other organizations. I also saw what looked to be a food truck distributing food to families. I doubt if I will see much of this in Siem Reap since it is such a tourist town.
I haven't had much interaction with the people yet since we just arrived about an hour ago. Tomorrow we will go to Angkor Wat and visit all of the temples. It looks like such an amazing place.
We spent the previous two days in the Mekong Delta region of Vietnam, where we spent around 3-4 hours by boat touring the region. Riding in a vehicle on the roads is not very fun. I'm sure that auto manufacturers have to find some different ways to pitch their products since the roads are so congested and bumpy. Í fight motion sickness most of the time on the road.
One thing that really surprises me here is the lack of protections for the average citizen. The plumbing and electrical systems in Vietnam have been very scary. Lines from telephone poles can dip within about 5 feet of a sidewalk. We have often seen children sandwiched between two parents on a single motorbike. And they rarely wear helmets! When we toured a couple sweatshops near Ho Chi Minh City we saw so many potentially dangerous situations for workers! I also need to ignore how my food is prepared; even in the better restaurants. Richard mentioned that raw beef was left on the "clean" floor in a restaurant we ate at yesterday for lunch (thankfully I'm not sick yet.) I can't imagine the level of fines that OSHA and the FDA would hand out if these were in the USA.
We only have 5 full days left here in Cambodia and Vietnam. Here's a rough agenda for the remaining days.
Friday, 3-18: Visit Angkor Wat (all day). Night market visit (evening)
Saturday, 3-19: Travel to Penohm Pehn. The tour company has booked a trip to the casino since it is a popular destination with Vietnamese tourists. Since we will not arrive there until evening there will probably not be much else to do.
Sunday, 3-20; Go to the large Pagoda in Penohm Pehn. The rest of the group will go to the main market in town, but Kathy and I are going to take a tuk-tuk to the killing fields memorial. Our tour guide said that it used to be a part of the tour, but that people who went on the tour became too sad. I guess that's why they added the casino then. We then will return to HCMC that evening.
Monday and Tuesday: 3/21-22: I'm not quite sure what will happen these days. I know that Kathy would like to visit a hospital in HCMC. Due to a miscommunication the University had us leaving on the 21st instead of the 23rd. I'm sure we can find something to do.
I'm not sure when I'll have time and access to the internet next, but I'll try to send out another update.
Martin Eltzroth
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Martin's Travels
Here is part of an e-mail Martin sent me the other night from Vietnam (he is there on a faculty trip with the Michigan Global Awareness Consortium):
"One very cool thing happened today so far...I found out that a Christian church is located in front of our hotel. I think I'm going to try to go to an English service at 5pm today if we are back from our trip outside the city. I was talking with some of the people at the church at it has been around for 4 years. It looks like a somewhat charasmatic church. I'm curious as to how they "do" church here.
Well some of my fellow travelers are starting to get sick. Eric has been sick since yesterday afternoon, and Kathy was feeling sick this morning. Today we're going to a neighboring province, tomorrow we're going to the Chu Chi tunnels and then to a formal dinner. Tuesday and Wednesday we are going to the Mekong Delta. I think we're going to see some floating cities there! Thursday we leave for Cambodia. We'll be in Angor on Friday, and then in Penohm Penh on Saturday, and drive back to Saigon on Sunday.
One slight problem is that Open U had us leaving on the 21st, but we do not leave until the 23rd. I think I can find something to do.
Before I came here I heard people mention how nice, polite, and sincere the Vietnamese people are. I think that's an understatement. I feel very welcomed here even though the only thing I can say confidently in Vietnamese is "Sorry". :-)
Anyway, the day is about to begin. I love you very much, and I miss you alot!
sorry, gotta go. My ride just arrived.
I MISS YOU.
Martin"
I never would have predicted how MUCH I miss him! We have busy schedules, but our paths cross even at work more than I realize. When one of us is driving to or from somewhere, we call the other to chat. When I was driving home from Bay City on Sunday, I hated that I could not just call him and tell him about what I thought of the PRIDE training session I had just attended. It was so weird to think that he was probably sound asleep on the other side of the world!
So far - no bats in the house!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Dogs and Bats and Nets
Last week we had an adventure with a bat. I did not want an adventure with a bat. It was finals week, I had plenty to do!
I never saw a bat up close until I moved into this house. In fact, I don't remember encountering bats until I moved into Michigan. When we first moved in, I noticed Shasta kept going over to our VCR and sniffing around. It sat on the cover for the storage area for the wood bin, so it connected to the garage. Long ago, the previous owners converted the fire place to gas, so there is not use for it anymore. Except as an entry point for bats. I suddenly noticed this little brown head that kept peeking up. I FREAKED out, managed to scare it back into the wood box and Martin sealed it off from the house side. I recall him telling me to put on a hat. I said "why"?, and he said "because you don't want it getting caught in your hair". That just about did me in. Another time he noticed one swooping around one evening. He was afraid to tell me, but eventually had to. The next day, while cleaning the living room, I discovered it sleeping from the beam on the ceiling. Martin managed to get it out of the house.
This latest escapade began last Wednesday night. Martin had been gone, and I had thought it curious that Shasta was not hanging out around the family room couches with Maggie and I. Now I think she was sniffing out the bat. Shortly after Martin got home, I noticed something swoop out of the corner of my eye and both dogs leaped into the air. It swooped again and I realized what it was, and the dogs excitedly tried to catch it so Martin hurried them out the back door and then ran for something, leaving me in the room with the bat. I realized it had fallen into one of my plants and was now creeping down the side of the pot. Then it fell to the ground - which made me think it was stunned or hurt. I was screaming for Martin to HURRY UP, then threw HIS coat over it. That didn't work, it creeped out and hid under some papers, then almost got under some storage bins. I knew it could head into our game storage cabinet so I was trying to direct Martin with his net. Then I really looked at the net. The net with the HUGE holes intended to catch a very small bat! So then he threw the stock pot over it. We got our bearings and then I got the net close to the pot, and we sort of just threw all of it out the back door (by this time we had put the dogs upstairs). Then we stood at the window staring at the net, trying to figure out if the bat was gone.
The next afternoon, I noticed Shasta and Maggie - well, their butts I should say, as they tried to crawl under the step from the deck. I couldn't figure out what was so fascinating to them that they would get themselves stuck under the step. Whenever I tried to peek under, in their excitement they would either knock me over, lick my face, or push me out of the way. Shasta was barking a bark I had never knew before. FINALLY, I got a peek. Now I know that Shasta has a "I found a bat" bark. Apparently, the poor bat must have crawled through the boards on the deck, and eventually fell asleep under the step. I tried to just keep the dogs in the house until evening, and hoped the bat would fly away that night (AFTER eating as many mosquitoes in the back yard as possible).
Friday morning, I noticed Maggie playing with something (JANE - quit reading now!). She always plays with whatever so I didn't think much of it. She eventually wanted in, and just hung around the family room. Some time later, I happened to glance over at what looked like a leaf on the floor. You can guess the rest. I screamed for Martin and he disposed of it, so our next adventure was a trip to the Vet. Dr. McNeilly seemed not too concerned, and a little amused, and gave them both their rabies booster. We went ahead and did their yearly shots and heart worm test, so that bat turned out to be VERY expensive for us!
Please, God, don't let any bats come in the house while Martin is away!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Senseless messes
This morning, while I set up my visual aids for class, I could hear 3 of my students talking quietly in the back row about the shootings at Virginia Tech. They were sharing what they had heard most recently, trying to make sense out of a senseless event.
Usually, I try to chime in to student discussion to make connections with them. But this morning I pretended not to hear. I couldn't even begin to talk about this horrible tragedy with them. I kept thinking about the brave professors who sacrificed their lives for their students. What would I do? Here I was in a personality psychology class, but knowing psychology has no real meaningful answers.
At that time, they had not released any information about the shooter. By the time class was over, the news shows were all showing his picture, and were gathering their soundbites from neighbors and fellow students. No surprise - a loner who was angry. I'm sure in coming days we will hear speculations about his parents, his mental health, the music he listens to, the "warning signs" that someone should have paid attention to (as if anyone could predict such an event), the video games he plays, etc., all to try to come up with an answer so that 1) we have someone or something to blame; 2) we can assure ourselves it would never happen to us.
Usually, I try to chime in to student discussion to make connections with them. But this morning I pretended not to hear. I couldn't even begin to talk about this horrible tragedy with them. I kept thinking about the brave professors who sacrificed their lives for their students. What would I do? Here I was in a personality psychology class, but knowing psychology has no real meaningful answers.
At that time, they had not released any information about the shooter. By the time class was over, the news shows were all showing his picture, and were gathering their soundbites from neighbors and fellow students. No surprise - a loner who was angry. I'm sure in coming days we will hear speculations about his parents, his mental health, the music he listens to, the "warning signs" that someone should have paid attention to (as if anyone could predict such an event), the video games he plays, etc., all to try to come up with an answer so that 1) we have someone or something to blame; 2) we can assure ourselves it would never happen to us.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Pride training
Isn't that a funny name - like you are in training to have Pride?
That is the title of the training Martin and I are doing regarding foster adoption. It is an acronym for something, but I guess I am a bad student because I cannot remember what it stands for. Parents something something...
We started last Monday, and had our second session last night. We are in a class with about 16 other potential foster or adoptive parents. It is generating more questions for us even as it answers others. It is generating more questions than answering!
I know a lot of you want detailed answers about how everything works - but right now we just don't fully know ourselves. The state requires training, this program fulfills that. We think we have to be licensed as a foster home in order to adopt through the state ward program. We think we have to also work through private agencies for family assessment, but that is also not clear. Of course, we are being strongly encouraged to be foster parents and to be open to older children. But, selfishly, I want kids in my home longer than a few years!
I have so many practical questions as well as the philosophical and psychological questions. Like - what do you do if you get a call in the middle of the night because a toddler needs a foster home? Do you just keep a car seat in case of emergency? The foster Mom who is the co trainer said "Yep". She said she had EVERYTHING - furniture, clothes of all sizes, a crib, a car seat. But not diapers, so when they got a last minute call on a Friday evening, they had to stop for diapers on the way home. Better than having to do that in the middle of the night! She also asked me bluntly "Is your heart strong enough to see some kids come and leave again?". Does anyone really know that of themselves for sure? And do you really want to be "strong" enough to be okay with that?
I just have to keep going back to the basics. We are loving people, Martin will be a great Dad, I think I could be a great Mom, we have a LOT to give, and God told us to love the orphans and the oppressed! I don't have to have all the details figured out right NOW - and maybe I need to accept that I probably NEVER WILL!
That is the title of the training Martin and I are doing regarding foster adoption. It is an acronym for something, but I guess I am a bad student because I cannot remember what it stands for. Parents something something...
We started last Monday, and had our second session last night. We are in a class with about 16 other potential foster or adoptive parents. It is generating more questions for us even as it answers others. It is generating more questions than answering!
I know a lot of you want detailed answers about how everything works - but right now we just don't fully know ourselves. The state requires training, this program fulfills that. We think we have to be licensed as a foster home in order to adopt through the state ward program. We think we have to also work through private agencies for family assessment, but that is also not clear. Of course, we are being strongly encouraged to be foster parents and to be open to older children. But, selfishly, I want kids in my home longer than a few years!
I have so many practical questions as well as the philosophical and psychological questions. Like - what do you do if you get a call in the middle of the night because a toddler needs a foster home? Do you just keep a car seat in case of emergency? The foster Mom who is the co trainer said "Yep". She said she had EVERYTHING - furniture, clothes of all sizes, a crib, a car seat. But not diapers, so when they got a last minute call on a Friday evening, they had to stop for diapers on the way home. Better than having to do that in the middle of the night! She also asked me bluntly "Is your heart strong enough to see some kids come and leave again?". Does anyone really know that of themselves for sure? And do you really want to be "strong" enough to be okay with that?
I just have to keep going back to the basics. We are loving people, Martin will be a great Dad, I think I could be a great Mom, we have a LOT to give, and God told us to love the orphans and the oppressed! I don't have to have all the details figured out right NOW - and maybe I need to accept that I probably NEVER WILL!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Travels, Training, and Teaching
It seems to finally be spring here in mid-Michigan. Just about all of the snow has melted - it is completely gone from our yard. My daffodils are pushing through, I'm glad I had time to rake away the leaves leftover from last fall and uncovered some that were pale green from lake of sun. I wish we had found the time to plant the crocus bulbs last fall! One of our neighbors planted bulbs all over one of her flower beds, so she has a generous sprinkling of purple throughout the shrubs!
Martin and I were in Illinois last weekend, he attended the 2 Year Chemistry College instructor conference hosted by Joliet JC. I used the opportunity to be free of distractions for an entire 1 1/2 days and got a lot of grading done, it is so easy to have the piles get high on my on-line courses! We took our time getting back - hitting a Trader Joe's and a Bass Pro Shop on the way home. I found myself looking at larger tents, sleeping bags, etc., thinking if we can adopt this year we will need more room on our camping trips! We used the college mini-van, and I found myself thinking how great the space was!
So, on our return we hit the phone again. We are registered for "PRIDE" training beginning next week, part of the required foster parent training we must do to adopt through the state ward program. I hate that term "state ward" - it makes the children sound like property!
We are on the downhill side of the semester, if you think about running downhill you can get the idea of the possibility of things rapidly getting out of control! Hopefully, that will not happen as we try to finish the semester with transformed students, but still a balanced happy home life!
It does look like Martin will get to go to Vietnam with other MI CC teachers in May! It is my summer to bring home the bacon - I'll be teaching a class for CMU in May, a class here at MMCC on-line through the summer, and reading AP Psychology tests in June for a week for Education Testing Services (I'll be in Louisville! Yee ha!). I'm also going to take an on line course beginning in June - a graduate level course through the Univerity of New Hampshire! I'm very excited about that!
Martin and I were in Illinois last weekend, he attended the 2 Year Chemistry College instructor conference hosted by Joliet JC. I used the opportunity to be free of distractions for an entire 1 1/2 days and got a lot of grading done, it is so easy to have the piles get high on my on-line courses! We took our time getting back - hitting a Trader Joe's and a Bass Pro Shop on the way home. I found myself looking at larger tents, sleeping bags, etc., thinking if we can adopt this year we will need more room on our camping trips! We used the college mini-van, and I found myself thinking how great the space was!
So, on our return we hit the phone again. We are registered for "PRIDE" training beginning next week, part of the required foster parent training we must do to adopt through the state ward program. I hate that term "state ward" - it makes the children sound like property!
We are on the downhill side of the semester, if you think about running downhill you can get the idea of the possibility of things rapidly getting out of control! Hopefully, that will not happen as we try to finish the semester with transformed students, but still a balanced happy home life!
It does look like Martin will get to go to Vietnam with other MI CC teachers in May! It is my summer to bring home the bacon - I'll be teaching a class for CMU in May, a class here at MMCC on-line through the summer, and reading AP Psychology tests in June for a week for Education Testing Services (I'll be in Louisville! Yee ha!). I'm also going to take an on line course beginning in June - a graduate level course through the Univerity of New Hampshire! I'm very excited about that!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Updates for Danny, Aunt Kathy, Katey, and me!
Hello!
Martin and I spent last week (our spring break) in Port Orchard WA to see my side of the family. It was a relief to get away from the snow! We had a lot of storms in MI the week before we left, and actually had some class cancellations because of the weather! Though it rained much of the week, there were 2 days of really nice weather!
Danny was not feeling too great for about 1/2 our visit. For his last 2 treatments, he had a drug that was harder on his body. He had switched to it because of the neuropathy he was developing from Taxol, but the new drug (Taxotere?) made him more tired, more nauseaus, and changed his taste. While we were there, he was getting his taste sense back. Next week, he starts another new drug - my oncology nurses said the drug has only been our for about 6 months and that their patients getting it said it isn't as rough as other chemo drugs.
Aunt Kathy got news while we were there that there is a new small spot on her spine, so she will have some changes in her treatment. Though it isn't great she has a new tumor, I think everyone was fearful that it was going to be worse news, and she is still much better off than a year ago when cancer seemed to be "everywhere".
Katey, our baby niece, is back in the hospital this morning. She has been vomiting, and Billie told me yesterday that she was on medication for acid reflux. But I guess this morning she was much worse, and what Martin has heard is that she is in the NICU at Sparrow today.
For me, I've had GREAT news. I had my 3 month check up with Dr. Roy, and my blood test was great. He monitors what is called the 'CEA level' - which is a rough indicator of tumor activity in your body. Mine was very low - he said it is the lowest he has seen in a patient for awhile! (This is the same blood test that caused Aunt Kathy's doctors to repeat her scans last week - her marker was rising). He will see me again in 3 months, and every 3 months for few years. I also saw Dr. Gollish, my surgeon, this morning. He had scheduled a follow up for a few months after my colonoscopy to make sure everything was going okay. I don't need to see him for another year, when he will want to do another colonoscopy. He gave me a prescription for a steroid cream to help the healing process for my scar from my port. It has a "healing ridge" as Christy, his nurse (and wife) put it, and she said I should not expose it to sun for a year because it is such new tissue. Like I want everyone seeing my scar exposed this summer...ha!
On the adoption front...Martin and I are still learning to navigate the "system". We hear the statistics about the # of kids in our state foster system who are eligible for adoption, so we imagined the process going quickly. But the agency we were referred to is not taking any new families at this time. They suggested in the meantime we do the foster parent training that we will be required to do, and they will put us on a wait list for a family assessment in the meantime. So, we may look into another agency and also look into that training to see if there are any current training programs in our area.
All for now!
Kel
Martin and I spent last week (our spring break) in Port Orchard WA to see my side of the family. It was a relief to get away from the snow! We had a lot of storms in MI the week before we left, and actually had some class cancellations because of the weather! Though it rained much of the week, there were 2 days of really nice weather!
Danny was not feeling too great for about 1/2 our visit. For his last 2 treatments, he had a drug that was harder on his body. He had switched to it because of the neuropathy he was developing from Taxol, but the new drug (Taxotere?) made him more tired, more nauseaus, and changed his taste. While we were there, he was getting his taste sense back. Next week, he starts another new drug - my oncology nurses said the drug has only been our for about 6 months and that their patients getting it said it isn't as rough as other chemo drugs.
Aunt Kathy got news while we were there that there is a new small spot on her spine, so she will have some changes in her treatment. Though it isn't great she has a new tumor, I think everyone was fearful that it was going to be worse news, and she is still much better off than a year ago when cancer seemed to be "everywhere".
Katey, our baby niece, is back in the hospital this morning. She has been vomiting, and Billie told me yesterday that she was on medication for acid reflux. But I guess this morning she was much worse, and what Martin has heard is that she is in the NICU at Sparrow today.
For me, I've had GREAT news. I had my 3 month check up with Dr. Roy, and my blood test was great. He monitors what is called the 'CEA level' - which is a rough indicator of tumor activity in your body. Mine was very low - he said it is the lowest he has seen in a patient for awhile! (This is the same blood test that caused Aunt Kathy's doctors to repeat her scans last week - her marker was rising). He will see me again in 3 months, and every 3 months for few years. I also saw Dr. Gollish, my surgeon, this morning. He had scheduled a follow up for a few months after my colonoscopy to make sure everything was going okay. I don't need to see him for another year, when he will want to do another colonoscopy. He gave me a prescription for a steroid cream to help the healing process for my scar from my port. It has a "healing ridge" as Christy, his nurse (and wife) put it, and she said I should not expose it to sun for a year because it is such new tissue. Like I want everyone seeing my scar exposed this summer...ha!
On the adoption front...Martin and I are still learning to navigate the "system". We hear the statistics about the # of kids in our state foster system who are eligible for adoption, so we imagined the process going quickly. But the agency we were referred to is not taking any new families at this time. They suggested in the meantime we do the foster parent training that we will be required to do, and they will put us on a wait list for a family assessment in the meantime. So, we may look into another agency and also look into that training to see if there are any current training programs in our area.
All for now!
Kel
Monday, February 12, 2007
Marriage and Work
Neither of us has posted for awhile, we have fallen back into the routines of work, eat, play a little, sleep, work again and have not had much time for reflection or for updates.
I keep thinking about a message we heard in January called Good to Great. It challenged us both to think about what "good" things are in our life, that are actually barriers to the "GREAT" Things we want to have. Work is good, in fact many things are GREAT. We both have jobs that have meaning. But it is so easy to let it be the center of our lives instead of God, and to let it become THE top priority instead of our marriage, our family, our community. It is challenging to find the balance because as teachers at a community college that serves a rural, poverty-stricken community - our work has a direct influence on so many individuals and families. Just today, I pulled out of a committee, and as I type this saw that I just got an e-mail with the subtle message that I should not leave the committee. I'm "abandoning" it...It isn't easy to leave behind the good to go after the GREAT because others may hold you back, or your own guilt holds you back!
Martin and I joined a marriage class at church that started yesterday morning. The teachers quoted a statistic that the divorce rate for couples who pray together is only about 1%! Last night, Martin and I prayed together for the first time in a long time. When we were done, he said "so what was our homework for the marriage class". I chuckled - it was to pray together every day! So we got one day of homework done!
I keep thinking about a message we heard in January called Good to Great. It challenged us both to think about what "good" things are in our life, that are actually barriers to the "GREAT" Things we want to have. Work is good, in fact many things are GREAT. We both have jobs that have meaning. But it is so easy to let it be the center of our lives instead of God, and to let it become THE top priority instead of our marriage, our family, our community. It is challenging to find the balance because as teachers at a community college that serves a rural, poverty-stricken community - our work has a direct influence on so many individuals and families. Just today, I pulled out of a committee, and as I type this saw that I just got an e-mail with the subtle message that I should not leave the committee. I'm "abandoning" it...It isn't easy to leave behind the good to go after the GREAT because others may hold you back, or your own guilt holds you back!
Martin and I joined a marriage class at church that started yesterday morning. The teachers quoted a statistic that the divorce rate for couples who pray together is only about 1%! Last night, Martin and I prayed together for the first time in a long time. When we were done, he said "so what was our homework for the marriage class". I chuckled - it was to pray together every day! So we got one day of homework done!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
One of those e-mail forwards that DO make me laugh!
Forwarded to me by my friend Tom I.
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party
Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Hav e Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ...
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's Called ... therapy.
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party
Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Hav e Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ...
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's Called ... therapy.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Priorities
My friend Sherene presented a workshop last weekend about getting balance in our life. I have heard her present the information before, and in fact when I have my monthly lunch date with her we encourage more balance in our lives. But I still get challenged because it is a continuing struggle to keep my life balanced!
One of our exercises was to list our priorities for our Spiritual Life, Family life, and Work. I smiled to myself at having listed the "right" priorities (oh, the perfectionist student in me still lives!). I mean, I have made improvements. I'm learning to focus on what is within my "sphere of influence" at work, for example. I get asked to be on committees or take on projects often, and I'm saying no so I can focus on what I am really great at doing. I'm also refusing to take on others' responsibilities or to take the blame if they don't get their work done.
But then, Sherene said "now - evaluate whether how you spend your time is reflecting your top priorities". Uff! If you looked at how I spend my time outside of work, you would think my top priorities are Sudoku, television, and the internet! Sudoku can be good to keep the mind sharp - but once in awhile! Television can offer some entertainment and even some education - but do I need as much as I'm taking in? The internet is great - I'm connecting with people I may not otherwise be able to. But what about connecting with Martin?
So, in this first month of a new semester, I am trying to change my schedule to reflect what I truly want to prioritize in my life! As another speaker challenged us at the same conference - we are looking at taking out some good to get to GREAT!
Where are your priorities? Post a comment!
One of our exercises was to list our priorities for our Spiritual Life, Family life, and Work. I smiled to myself at having listed the "right" priorities (oh, the perfectionist student in me still lives!). I mean, I have made improvements. I'm learning to focus on what is within my "sphere of influence" at work, for example. I get asked to be on committees or take on projects often, and I'm saying no so I can focus on what I am really great at doing. I'm also refusing to take on others' responsibilities or to take the blame if they don't get their work done.
But then, Sherene said "now - evaluate whether how you spend your time is reflecting your top priorities". Uff! If you looked at how I spend my time outside of work, you would think my top priorities are Sudoku, television, and the internet! Sudoku can be good to keep the mind sharp - but once in awhile! Television can offer some entertainment and even some education - but do I need as much as I'm taking in? The internet is great - I'm connecting with people I may not otherwise be able to. But what about connecting with Martin?
So, in this first month of a new semester, I am trying to change my schedule to reflect what I truly want to prioritize in my life! As another speaker challenged us at the same conference - we are looking at taking out some good to get to GREAT!
Where are your priorities? Post a comment!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Walking in Valleys
(cross posted on my MySpace account)
I find myself attracted to spiritual songs that juxtapose the ideas of valleys and mountains. I love the song "Mountain of God" by Third Day, the song I'm currently playing on MySpace. It is about realizing that though we may think we are alone, we are not. It is about the journey we are on, and that He has gone before us and will lead us through. It reminds me of a portion of "Sacred Romance" by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. They talk about the book "Pilgrim's Progress", and about how taking the road that is the Sacred Romance can be foggy and difficult. But it is the road that is worth taking.
Caedmon's Call has a song from a few years ago about being in the valley ('Valleys Fill First'), and realizing that it is in the valley that we are surrounded by God, where we are baptized. We long to be on the mountaintop, but the times in the valley are a necessary part of our journey with God.
That reminds me of the book "Hind's Feet in High Places" by Hannah Hurnand (sp?). I can't give it away - the allegory is just so beautiful. You must read it! But it is about a journey from a valley up a mountain that seemed confusing and despairing, but in the end was perfect.
Stephen Curtis Chapman wrote a song called The Mountain many years ago. He wrote from the perspective of being on the mountain, and knowing he needed to go back down to the valley. It ends with a prayer that God will help Him remember all he learned on the mountain. I think I have learned as much or more in my times in the valley.
This last year has felt at times like being in a valley under a dark shadow, with lots of fog and cold. Other times, it seemed clear and beautiful. But I was never alone!
I find myself attracted to spiritual songs that juxtapose the ideas of valleys and mountains. I love the song "Mountain of God" by Third Day, the song I'm currently playing on MySpace. It is about realizing that though we may think we are alone, we are not. It is about the journey we are on, and that He has gone before us and will lead us through. It reminds me of a portion of "Sacred Romance" by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. They talk about the book "Pilgrim's Progress", and about how taking the road that is the Sacred Romance can be foggy and difficult. But it is the road that is worth taking.
Caedmon's Call has a song from a few years ago about being in the valley ('Valleys Fill First'), and realizing that it is in the valley that we are surrounded by God, where we are baptized. We long to be on the mountaintop, but the times in the valley are a necessary part of our journey with God.
That reminds me of the book "Hind's Feet in High Places" by Hannah Hurnand (sp?). I can't give it away - the allegory is just so beautiful. You must read it! But it is about a journey from a valley up a mountain that seemed confusing and despairing, but in the end was perfect.
Stephen Curtis Chapman wrote a song called The Mountain many years ago. He wrote from the perspective of being on the mountain, and knowing he needed to go back down to the valley. It ends with a prayer that God will help Him remember all he learned on the mountain. I think I have learned as much or more in my times in the valley.
This last year has felt at times like being in a valley under a dark shadow, with lots of fog and cold. Other times, it seemed clear and beautiful. But I was never alone!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Can he motivate you too?
This video spot is a few years old, but still important!
If you want to help eliminate "stupid" poverty, visit ONE.ORG
If you want to help eliminate "stupid" poverty, visit ONE.ORG
Baby Steps
It just dawned on me that the title has a double meaning. I meant to convey that we are taking small steps on adoption...also taking steps toward a child!
Our hearts and our goals have been changing with all we have been through for the last year or so. We had considered domestic infant adoption for awhile, but we seem to have lost interest in being one couple out of 100s that a potential birth Mom selects out of profiles and photos. There seem to be more than enough families for children in that situation. But what about the children around us who don't have a stable loving home, and who think no one wants them?
So, we are now investigating what it takes to adopt domestically a child who is harder to place. From the beginning, we have said that we are more motivated by what we can offer a child than what a child would do for us. We liked the philosophy of an agency we encountered who said "we are not in the business of finding children for couples, we are finding families for our children!".
So, please pray for us to move forward with discernment and with obedient hearts!
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps". Proverbs 16:9
Our hearts and our goals have been changing with all we have been through for the last year or so. We had considered domestic infant adoption for awhile, but we seem to have lost interest in being one couple out of 100s that a potential birth Mom selects out of profiles and photos. There seem to be more than enough families for children in that situation. But what about the children around us who don't have a stable loving home, and who think no one wants them?
So, we are now investigating what it takes to adopt domestically a child who is harder to place. From the beginning, we have said that we are more motivated by what we can offer a child than what a child would do for us. We liked the philosophy of an agency we encountered who said "we are not in the business of finding children for couples, we are finding families for our children!".
So, please pray for us to move forward with discernment and with obedient hearts!
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps". Proverbs 16:9
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
We are back!
We have decided to revive this blog! We have not updated while on a health hiatus, we just updated Care Pages.
This picture was taken on our 4th anniversary. We were at my Mom and Danny's house. For a Christmas/Anniversary present, they gave us a gift certificate to Anthony's, an amazingly good seafood restaurant. We got dressed out and had a photo session (reminded me of prom night) before we left.
It has been an amazing 4 years, much more eventful than I would have expected. Martin is a great husband - loyal, dedicated, thoughtful, caring, generous. And HOT!
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