Waiting...

...I don't wait very well. I've been known to drive in to a fast food restaurant and right back out again if there are a few cars in the drive-thru lane. Martin can attest that I get quite antsy sometimes if I am waiting for him to finish getting ready, to finish talking to someone, to answer what I view as a simple questions. All the more if I'm also hungry...sorry my darling!

It helps if I just don't think about what I'm waiting for, which is partially why we haven't done any updates lately. We are waiting, and have been for quite a few weeks now, for a couple of child assessment reports. In the meantime, we have held off on any more inquiries but it is getting difficult. We want to feel like something is making progress. Its hard not to get into the mind game of the "what ifs". What if someone forgot we needed the report? What if it is lost in the mail? What if, while we wait, we miss out on other opportunities? What if we should be going a different direction? What if we wait all this time and none of these situations work out?

In the last year, we have had many friends and some family have babies or get pregnant. We are so excited about all of these situations, and we rejoice with them. Some of these situations are ones where our friends or family members also waited for a very long time for these moments so we definitely lift our hands to God in gratitude. Even in one situation, our friend had been told when she was a teenager that she could probably never have biological children, yet I held her baby daughter on Christmas Eve! One of my cousins had many miscarriages before Isaac - such a fitting name - was placed in her arms. These testimonies give me hope that God does have perfect timing and a plan perfect for us.

Many years ago at a youth ministry leader retreat, Acey showed a teaching on a video where the man's message (I'm at a complete loss as to who the teacher was - sorry!) showed that the biblical pattern is that God often tells us the "what" He is going to do long before the "how" and the "when". That has stuck with me obviously over all these years, and I know from my past experiences that we are stretched and challenged while we wait for the "what" to come about. But knowing that doesn't always make it an easier time! I know we have things to learn during this time, and things to prepare (emotionally in our lives and logistically in our home). I know that it isn't true that "nothing" is happening and that this is an active time even if it doesn't seem so. But yes, I still do want Abba to give me all the details so I can give my approval and offer Him some suggestions!