A study of our family!

Martin and I have seen a draft of our family study now. I can't explain how strange it is to read about your home, your marriage, your biography, and your potential parenting abilities written from the perspective of another person. Even though we provided all of the information that is in the report, it is still written in the "voice" of another. In some ways, it is quite uncomfortable. We feel vulnerable, naked, laid bare...

Yesterday in my (Kelley) Bible study, we had some discussion of how intimately God knows us. God is always aware of what is really in our hearts. We are studying the era of the Kings and Prophets in Judaic history. After the ancient Northern Kingdom was lost, the southern Kingdom (Judah) still went on for awhile. God continued to warn them through His prophets that they needed to turn back to him. Under a godly King, Josiah, the people renewed their covenant with the Lord and began to celebrate His festivals again, including the most elaborate Passover celebration that had ever been done. Yet God still said that Judah was going to be disciplined because of the sins of Manasseh (Josiah's grandfather). Other scriptures that reference to this time say it is because God knew that the people of Judah had not turned to Him with their WHOLE hearts, they had held back. And because He examines not the outward appearance, but the heart, He knew that.

So as vulnerable and uncomfortable as I feel that social workers will be reading this family study, it occurs to me that I don't have the same fear, trembling, or awe towards God who knows me even more than that. God is bigger, more powerful, more Holy than any other being, but my indifference to His Word, His ways, His will is as if he is no more powerful than a carved idol from stone. Yesterday we reviewed all the places in the prophet Jeremiah that refer to our hearts - how stubborn we are, how we just go after our own designs, how we make idols of other things rather than worship God, how our hearts need to be circumcised and made new.

I'm finding that many aspects of this process of adoption are causing me to see my relationship with God and His love for me in very different ways. I'll probably be writing more about that! But I know that some of you also want to know more about what I mentioned at the beginning - that our family study is almost done! So, here's what should be happening...

We reviewed that study and this morning I talked to a social worker at our agency about some clarifications that were needed in the study. Most of these were in the "maternal" section of the report (meaning me - Kelley - the maternal one...wow!) because my life history is much more confusing than Martin's apparently! Trying to keep straight my family's chronology is...well...a challenge to someone who has never heard it before - ha ha! Anyway, tomorrow we will get hopefully the FINAL draft and after we look it over one more time we hope to be able to sign it and say "yep, that's us". THEN, it goes to our social worker who works here in Clare (haven't met her yet). From there...apparently our file can be shared with our agency headquarters to see if we may be a match for any of the kids on their caseload. We can also inquire about children who are caseloads at other agencies, usually through a state database. If that happens, our files have to go back and forth through the social workers before we actually may even meet any children. So, hang on, this doesn't go very quickly usually! Be patient, and in the meantime please pray for our kid(s) who are out there somewhere, also waiting...for us...and for you...our family and friends! Oh, so in case it STILL isn't clear, then yes - it seems we have passed this stage. It finally clicked with me today that even with little details that needed to be fixed to make the report very accurate - the gist of the report is that we are recommended to adopt! I was missing the forest for the trees I guess! When the s.w. was telling me future steps, it dawned on me she wasn't saying "if", she was saying WHEN!